What if….
January 10, 2025
What if I could treat myself with the compassion and generosity I give reflexively to others?
Just be. Just be.
I expect more of myself than I would ever expect of anyone else. And that can lead to paralysis. And self-judgment follows my stuckness. And it’s dark all the time this season. My energy is low.
My 4 cats demand attention, so I succumb: I sit on the bed, Annie on my lap, Bennie wanting belly rubs cuddled up next to me. I breathe slowly, finally allowing myself to meditate. Breathing in slowly, hold a while, release; repeat. I call on a bubble of light to surround me and the cats. Light swirls in my closed eyes, blue light, (huh, blue light? Andromedan?) pulsing down all over me. A tear escapes my eye: All I feel is love, acceptance and grace in this pulsing blue light. I don’t have to do anything. I watch it wash over me, over me, over me. And another tear leaks out of my other eye.
Nora jumps on the bed to curl up close by. Unexpectedly, Polly enters the room, drawn in to our clowder cuddle.
In my closed eyes’ vision, I see a fire flickering, warming my soul. I feel the words: “it’s ok, Christine, it’s ok to be still. It’s winter. It is the time to rest. You don’t have to do anything. Just be quiet. Just be here. Just be.
Just be.”
Everything is exactly as it needs to be. Just be. Just be.