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Thoughts on Reality By Christine Cantrell, Sunday, August 11, 2019

  • Posted on August 12, 2019 at 10:45 am

“This is how I keep myself from killing people!”  This is a line I hear pop out of my mouth when showing off my abundantly blooming gardens. The first time I heard myself say those words, I was uncomfortable. I am not a violent person. I never have been. I have painful memories and traumas and spent many years in therapy, coming to terms with “soul murder” as incest has been called. I am greatly healed, but when that phrase comes out, I recognize a deep pool of rage from growing up abused and living in this sexist, violent, racist culture. Yesterday I was tense and I couldn’t figure out what triggered it. Oh, right. It was the headline in the New York Times: “Jeffrey Epstein commits suicide.” Rage. Anger. Right on the surface. I transferred my anger into the spade as I stabbed it into the grass to dig a new garden for day-lilies. Of course he commits suicide, in jail, despite attempting suicide, in jail a week ago. Wasn’t that predictable? His victims, at least dozens, if not many more, teenage girls over the last few decades, were trafficked as sex slaves who gave the rich and powerful…

Dear Christine, Sworn to Secrecy in St. Clair Shores

  • Posted on December 18, 2017 at 7:08 am

Dear Christine,  A gay male friend of mine told me in confidence that he was sexually assaulted by an older gay man who is a fairly well known member of the community. He made me swear never to tell anyone. I know as a woman, that feeling of sweeping it under the rug all too well, however, I’m older and less easily intimidated today. I guess I should keep his promise but what do I say to someone who shares that kind of story with me? And what is my responsibility, if any, do I have to report the abuse? With stories like this hitting the airwaves lately, I just don’t know what to do. Thanks, Sworn to Secrecy in St. Clair Shores Dear Sworn, I have been hearing versions of this question from my clients that past 6 weeks. Our society has ignored victims and survivors of sexual abuse and harassment too long! And not all of the survivors are women, as your gay male friend proves. I believe truth needs to come out, but being a survivor of sexual abuse, myself, I also respect the survivor’s process in coming to grips with the abuse. Telling anyone (you) is…