You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'LGBT Therapy'.

Dear Christine, Pity Party in Plymouth

  • Posted on November 11, 2019 at 11:13 am

Dear Christine,  I am getting older and I feel completely out of the scene I am overweight and feel unattractive. I have been single for six years now and miss having a relationship. I also live in the burbs and feel so disconnected. So I am feeling kinda disenfranchised, pathetic and lonely.  Okay enough of the pity party.  But seriously, how do you get back in the game with out looking too much like a goof (although I kinda like that look) I don’t want to be 80 and alone! not that I am that old yet but it could happen. Thanks, Pity Party in Plymouth Dear Pity Party, It sounds like you are having a tough time liking yourself these days. The only way I know to get back in the game is by liking, even loving yourself.  How will anyone else want to be with you now, much less when you’re 80 if you don’t?  Start by taking care of yourself:  eat nutritious food, exercise, get enough sleep, develop some interests that get you out and interacting with others; take up a  sport, do some volunteer work or join a support group or activity group.  Get out and…

Dear Christine, Betrayed in Brownstown

  • Posted on October 6, 2019 at 2:18 pm

Dear Christine, I hope it’s okay to ask a question if I’m not a member of the LGBT community. My son is gay and I follow a lot of things going on in the community, and both his father and myself are very involved and supportive of him. The question, however, is about my marriage. I’ve been married to my husband for 21 years. Early in our marriage I discovered he liked to look at porn. I was hurt and jealous because I couldn’t understand why he needed to look at other women when he had me. We’ve always had a healthy marriage and sex life. I’ve discovered recently that he never stopped looking at porn even though many years ago he promised me he would stop. I am concerned he has an addiction. And I’m furious that he never stopped. He thinks I am over-reacting but I’m beyond distraught and unsure if I want to continue our marriage. Is it normal for men to look at porn? Am I being prude? How do I know if he has a serious addiction? Any advice or thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Betrayed in Brownstown Dear Betrayed,…

Dear Christine, Romantically Confused in Romeo

  • Posted on September 9, 2019 at 1:14 pm

Hi Christine, I am 25 year old female I’ve just lately like a couple months ago realized I’m bisexual even though I have gotten with a women way before then and enjoyed it. I have always found women attractive and when I got older I became very attracted to women sexually. For a while now I’ve been interested in women romantically. I have a wonderful bf but some thing is missing I don’t even like the ideal of sex with guys as much as I use to. I mostly think about is women’s body’s that seems to be what I really like. Also I like the ideal of dating a women . I wanna kiss and cuddle and more with a girl I have imaged my self dating a girl and hanging out the weird thing is though lately with in a week or bit more i had 3 dreams of dating women the last one had very strong like I wanted to be with her long time. Why am I having those kind of dreams? Is bisexual the right label for me? Cause I like guys and straight sex but the desire to date and have sex with them…

Thoughts on Reality By Christine Cantrell, Sunday, August 11, 2019

  • Posted on August 12, 2019 at 10:45 am

“This is how I keep myself from killing people!”  This is a line I hear pop out of my mouth when showing off my abundantly blooming gardens. The first time I heard myself say those words, I was uncomfortable. I am not a violent person. I never have been. I have painful memories and traumas and spent many years in therapy, coming to terms with “soul murder” as incest has been called. I am greatly healed, but when that phrase comes out, I recognize a deep pool of rage from growing up abused and living in this sexist, violent, racist culture. Yesterday I was tense and I couldn’t figure out what triggered it. Oh, right. It was the headline in the New York Times: “Jeffrey Epstein commits suicide.” Rage. Anger. Right on the surface. I transferred my anger into the spade as I stabbed it into the grass to dig a new garden for day-lilies. Of course he commits suicide, in jail, despite attempting suicide, in jail a week ago. Wasn’t that predictable? His victims, at least dozens, if not many more, teenage girls over the last few decades, were trafficked as sex slaves who gave the rich and powerful…

Dear Christine, Worried in Waterford

  • Posted on July 30, 2019 at 11:00 am

Dear Christine, I have been with my partner for several years but for the last few years, we’ve been more like roommates. We don’t share a bedroom, we do a few things together, but mostly we do our own things. A few months ago we talked and confirmed officially that indeed we are just roommates and not “partners”. I was not looking, did not even want to date, but I was at an event and there she was; this new person I had never met or heard of, and we instantly connected. We’ve only had two dates, and I’ve made it clear I want friendship first, plus she is aware I have an ex living with me. So far I like her and want to get to know her better. The concern I have is that I’ve told my roommate that I have met someone and I might want to date and now the roommate seems very depressed and even told me she’s thought of suicide; Not entirely because of our breakup, I think she’s been depressed for a while. I asked her to seek immediate help and she agreed but I’m not sure she will. What should I do?…

Dear Christine, Seeking Peace in Southgate

  • Posted on July 23, 2019 at 10:23 am

Dear Christine, My partner and I love each other very much. We have been together for 35 years. However, our skills of effective conflict resolution are very weak. Would you be able to help us get better at resolving conflicts.  Just recently I was feeling I’d have to leave her to get the peace I want to live with for my last  20 years.  I never told her I’m leaving before. I told her we should go to therapy to save our relationship.  What would you charge to help us to learn healthier ways to resolve conflicts? Signed, Seeking Peace in Southgate Dear Seeking, Thirty five years is a long time to live with and love each other with “weak conflict resolution skills”.  What have you done to resolve conflicts, misunderstandings and tension all these years?  I wonder if one of you has subsumed your identity/wants/needs under the other?  Or you both are tough characters who will keep a commitment, even if it kills you! If you read this blog, you know I encourage psychotherapy to develop healthy coping and conflict resolution skills, along with self-care.  If your partner refuses to join you in couple’s therapy where you both could…

Dear Christine, Patient in Petoskey

  • Posted on July 15, 2019 at 8:30 am

Dear Christine, She did it again! I emailed you a couple years back about my cheating wife.  It wasn’t easy but I forgave her. That was two years ago. I appreciated your advice to decide to follow my heart and do what I needed to at the time. I just found out she recently cheated again and now has confessed to me that she believes she’s a sex addict. Apparently, she has been meeting both men and women for sex. She swears she wants to get help and stop. I’ve seen stuff like this in movies and on TV shows. Is it really a thing or could she be making excuses? I just don’t know what to do or believe. For now, I’ve asked her to go stay at her sisters house. We have a 25 year marriage that’s been successful except for this. Your thoughts would be appreciated. Signed Patient in Petoskey Dear Patient, I am sorry to hear your latest marital troubles.  Upon your confrontation, your wife admits she has a problem.  What concerns me is her “swearing that she wants to get help and stop.”  Sex addiction is a real thing, using sex and orgasm as a way to…

Dear Christine, Calm in Clawson

  • Posted on July 6, 2019 at 3:10 pm

Dear Christine, I’ve had anxieties and phobias all my life, I don’t like to drive a car, but I still do, like an old lady,  I absolutely hate being a passenger, feeling sure the driver will have an accident. I get horrible anxiety waiting in line to buy groceries. I haven’t been able to fly without serious sedation and don’t like being at parties where there are people I don’t know. Oh, and I carry hand sanitizer everywhere I go. I’m 56 years old and I’ve just learned to live with it since I was about 16.  In the past couple months I’ve slowly realized that I no longer have these fears. I’m not sure when it happened exactly but I’m fine now. I’ve never taken meds either. Have you ever heard of someone who was spontaneously cured from anxiety and phobias? I’m praying it’s permanent. Signed Calm in Clawson Dear Calm, I’m so happy for you to have your anxieties and phobias disappear!  As an adult, that is not a common occurrence, but with children, they often overcome anxieties and phobias as they grow, learn and understand more of how the world works. Harvard Health newsletter has some helpful…

Dear Christine, Wondering in White Lake

  • Posted on July 1, 2019 at 8:18 am

Dear Christine I know this is probably more of a stereotype (partly propagated by “Sex & The City”), but many straight women seem to like having a gay male friend around to talk about clothes and TV drama. If a straight guy were to have a lesbian as a friend, what would likely be their common ground? Wondering in White Lake Dear Wondering, TV sitcoms, and movies, love stereotypes. Remember “Will and Grace”? You had the same alliance between a straight woman and a gay man, sharing an apartment. It does happen, but most people are individual and unique, and don’t fit neatly into stereotypes. Some gay men have the fashion sense (remember “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”?) and love giving their straight women friends advice on styles, make-up and hair. Other gay men may well have other interests. Perhaps gay men and straight women appreciate similar tastes, interests and hobbies. Certainly, a straight woman would feel safe with a gay man, because he’s never going to hit on her, but just be her friend. He might be more open and talk about his feelings and his gay relationship than many straight men do. But there are plenty of…

Dear Christine, Puzzled in Pontiac

  • Posted on June 5, 2019 at 11:26 am

Dear Christine, I’ve got a problem with my wife. I’m straight, and am married to my wife and we have 3 beautiful children together. I love my wife very much and promised her that I would always love her and take care of her. I take my promises very seriously, especially because she has Borderline Personality Disorder. I have read everything I could find on line, and it is exactly her! I know no one else will take care of her and love her like me, but she says she’s fallen in love with someone else. Get this, it’s a woman! She says she’s not in love with me anymore, and since she’s met this woman, she won’t have sex with me any more. And she acts mean to me, comparing me to this woman, and she gets angry at me all the time, yelling. It’s just not fair! I keep telling her that no one, not even this woman, will ever love her or take care of her as I do. She says she’s going to move in with this woman, but she’s staying with me until tax time. I don’t really like that, but I don’t want to…