You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'LGBT relationships'.

Dear Christine, Susannah in Southfield

  • Posted on September 10, 2018 at 10:02 am

Dear Christine, I can’t believe I’m writing for advice, but I think the time has come. I have been intimately involved with my lover for two years. She has been in a relationship with another woman for eight years. Needless to say, I am the other woman in her life. I am at the point where I want to end our relationship. My problem is I don’t know how. We started out as friends and have had so many fun times together I’m scared of losing that. I don’t want to hurt her, but I am mature and wise enough to know the entire situation seems to be a lost cause. My lover tells me I am trying to put a time limit on when we will be together, but after two years I feel I have the right to know what the future holds for me but there are no answers. Susannah in Southfield Dear Susannah, I think we’ve found a theme this summer: honesty and boundaries. You have put yourself in a relationship full of drama and lies, which may lead to a committed relationship, which would probably be full of trust issues, given how she’s cheating on…

Dear Christine, Curious in Canton

  • Posted on September 4, 2018 at 10:23 am

Dear Christine, I have enjoyed reading you articles but I feel a little out of place sending you a letter. It’s not the kind of thing I ever thought I would do but here goes. I have been in a good relationship for many years and I love my partner. I can’t think of anyone else I would rather be with, however lately I have been feeling very attracted to other men. In the past when another man flirted with me I would have never considered cheating. Lately, I’m not so sure. I don’t know why this is happening but the temptation is very strong. There is not one particular person I have in mind, I just want to go out and be with someone else. Boredom, mid-life crisis? Should I tell my partner I am having these feelings? I guess I’m just curious why I’m feeling this way when I never have before. Let me know what you think, Curious in Canton Hi Curious, I’m just wondering what your relationship has been like the past few years. Do you and your partner spend quality time with each other, focusing on each other without other distractions? Do you make time…

Dear Christine, Damaged Goods Downriver

  • Posted on July 15, 2018 at 7:47 pm

Dear Christine, I am a 28-year-old gay man. I came out when I was 18 and since then I’ve enjoyed a healthy, active dating life. I’ve always been comfortable with my sexuality. Three months ago, however, I tested HIV-positive and since then feel like I have to come out all over again. I haven’t been able to start dating yet because I’m afraid of how people will react when I tell them about my situation. And I don’t know what the rules are. What do I tell people? When do I tell people? And, if safe sex really is safe, do I have to tell them at all? And mostly I’m afraid (although I know it sounds crazy) that no one’s ever going to love me again. Damaged Goods Downriver Dear Damaged Goods: I hear you, coming out all over again, now as HIV + being just as confused and uncertain how to tell others as you were to tell people you were gay 10 years ago. Trust your instincts with people, and tell those who feels safe to you. There may be some rejection from some people, but if they were people you wanted to date or be friends…

Dear Christine, A Reader in Rochester

  • Posted on July 9, 2018 at 10:12 am

Hi Dr. Christine, My partner and I have been together 19 years and overall we’re both happy together. Lately, though, I noticed she is asking me to pay the utility bills she always pays, saying she has no money. I pay a set, agreed upon amount for rent and living expenses, and we both do the chores and shopping. She does the upkeep and maintenance on the house, which is in her name only. She was burned in a prior relationship and she has always said she will not ever consider adding me to the deed. I’m confused because she has a good job and makes more money than I do, and I don’t know why she wouldn’t have money for the bills she’s used to paying regularly. I don’t think she’s gambling or using drugs, but I can’t figure out what is going on. Any suggestions? A Reader in Rochester. Dear Reader: You raise several important issues. We gays and lesbians do not have access to the legal rights that married people get through their wedding license, such as joint home ownership or rights of survivorship to a house, should the owning partner die. We also cannot get half…

Dear Christine,Too Trusting in Trenton

  • Posted on June 25, 2018 at 9:32 am

Dear Christine, I think once again I’ve gotten myself into a bad situation. I seem to have the worst instincts when it comes to trusting people. My first two girlfriends both cheated on me after a couple years together and my 3rd serious partner decided she was straight after 5 years. The latest romance went too fast, I know. I really fell for her and moved her into my house after only 6 months. I just found out she was stealing from me. At first jewelry was missing, then I noticed the cash in my wallet seemed less than I remembered, but the biggest blow came when I realized she used my credit card to make purchases. She has denied it all but I’ve given her the boot, Is it me, or just bad luck? Signed, Too Trusting in Trenton   Dear Too Trusting, Well, you can believe in bad luck, but you can’t do anything about that.  The common denominator here, as you stated, is that you trust people in a serious, committed relationship, living together an all, and then get betrayed.  Each of your ex’s may have a problem, but you can’t do anything about them.  You can…

Dear Christine, Feelings in Franklin

  • Posted on June 4, 2018 at 9:54 am

Dear Christine, My question is this: My partner of 12 years has decided she has feelings for another woman, who has been straight all her life & has 3 children & is currently married. My partner has been helping her with all her issues & has become emotionally attached to this woman & is questioning her feelings for me? What do I do? Look forward to your reply. Thx, Feelings in Franklin   Dear Feelings in Franklin, So, my question to you is, what’s missing in your 12 year relationship? For you? For your partner? I’m guessing you used to be close and intimate, and it was satisfying, but over the years, you’ve somehow grown apart emotionally. Now, your partner has been getting her emotional needs met by helping a friend, which are fueling her questioning of your relationship with her. She’s perceiving her friend as her emotional significant other, not you. What is she not getting in her relationship with you? What is it that she needs? What are your needs? Are they being communicated? Are they ever met? If you can’t answer these questions, then I’d start there, with yourself, and then moving on to her needs. Explore…

Dear Christine, My ex’s best friend.

  • Posted on May 29, 2018 at 11:08 am

Dear Christine, My ex’s best friend. Recently I have been having dreams of my former partner’s best friend. I am attracted to her….very much so, and if I am correct, she is attracted to me too. Here is the thing, I would like to see her whether it be for a short period of time or longer. How do I go about calling her up out of the blue and say hey! Want to go out some time? Should I go for it, despite the fact that she is my ex’s best friend? Ex’s Best Friend in Farmington Dear ex’s best friend in Farmington, Here’s an interesting situation! To answer your question, it all depends!   There’s no reason NOT to call her and ask her up, as your former partner, is just that, former. You are allowed to call anyone you want. Some thought questions: Are you still friends with your ex? Would she be upset, not care or be supportive if she found out you were dating her best friend? Would she need to hear it from you, rather than in gossip from others? Would the best friend be OK with dating her best friend’s ex? Are they close…

Dear Christine, Needing Privacy in Novi

  • Posted on April 21, 2018 at 10:52 am

Dear Dr. Christine, I live in a house with both of my parents. Lately, they are driving me insane. I have no privacy whatsoever. They go through my phone, and they involve themselves too much in my life. I’m growing up! How do I get them to back off? I was wondering if you could answer these questions: 1.) Why do many teenagers feel that their parents invade their privacy? 2.) Is there a reason that parents do this? 3.) How can this be resolved? Needing Privacy in Novi Dear Needing Privacy, Being a teen, dependent on your parents and trying out how to be an adult is a tough stage of life. Your parents, most likely, have your best interests in heart, and they were teens once, and they remember what they did. Parents are legally responsible for you, so they may invade your privacy, i.e. search your room to see if you are smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol or doing drugs. Hopefully they aren’t reading your journal (does anyone journal privately anymore?). Are they tracking where you go on the Internet? Do they ask intrusive questions? Do they have unreasonable demands? The best approach with parents is to be…

Dear Christine, All My Heart in Allen Park

  • Posted on March 31, 2018 at 9:45 am

Dear Christine, I am in a 11 year lesbian relationship (33 years old) and have met another woman(34 years old) ONLINE who is in a 15 year lesbian relationship. We have been carrying on an affair for a year via ONLINE and phone calls everyday, but have never met. Both of us are totally in love and are planning to met within the next 3 months. We have even planned on leaving our current wives (obviously something is missing from both our relationships) once we meet and make sure we are physically compatible. We have never met but LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH. Am I crazy for even thinking of leaving my girlfriend of 11 years for a woman I’ve never met? I love her heart, mind and soul……All my Heart in Allen Park Dear All my Heart,  I think this is another question that the writer wrote knowing in her heart what the answer for her is. You have thoughts that you might be crazy for thinking of leaving your girlfriend of 11 years for someone you never met? Does your girlfriend of 11 years know this? Is she aware that something is “missing” from your relationship? Have you…

Dear Christine, Finding a Donor in Dearborn

  • Posted on March 26, 2018 at 9:32 am

Dear Christine, Hi there, My partner and I have been together 8 years–our anniversary is this week– Yeah!!! Celebration time!!! We’re ready to start our family, and decided to go the “known donor” route so the child would be able to have some awareness of who their biological father is… Here’s the problem: none of the men we’ve approached (and don’t misunderstand, they’ve all been pretty together, gay positive men) have been able to “handle the idea”. They say things like “How could I handle having a child, but not really being a father”, or “I would feel too responsible to the child”. Geez, where are all the totally irresponsible men I dated before I figured out who I really am? They were only too happy to let ME worry about contraception back then. Why have the rules changed now? Talk about irony. We spend half our fertile lives before we’re mature enough to know who we are and what we want trying NOT to get pregnant and the other half trying desperately trying to. Sometimes, life sucks! Finding a Donor in Dearborn Dear Finding a Donor, Congratulations on your readiness to start a family! Yeah, the timing isn’t so…