You are currently browsing all posts tagged with 'Christine C. Cantrell'.

Dear Christine, Femme in Franklin

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 1:40 pm

Dear Christine, Do I Have Lesbian Repellant? I’m very femme. I couldn’t stop looking girly if I tried and I wouldn’t anyways.. I love my aesthetic of Curled Hair, Pin-Up looks. I have all kinds of “macho” skills but I appear to be a “Straight” gal to other Lesbians. I’ll admit I’m newly Out…. It’s always been nearly impossible to meet women. Even at an all Lesbian event women will ask if I “just broke up with my boyfriend”. Is there some kind of button I should wear? Is Femme really that offensive? I’ve heard that some Lesbians are into it. I would never change this about myself but I’d sure love to learn to Send out the Right Signals. Any suggestions..?? Dear Femme in Franklin Trust me… Femme is not offensive, nor is it a repellent. Speaking as a Butchly type that appreciates the Femme type. I have also seen and known Femmes that like other Femmes when it comes to *those* kinds of interactions. (the really good kind) Personally I also think that as women we are sometimes socialized to be more submissive and/or aren’t used to making the first move… and so oftentimes it can be a…

Dear Christine, Worried in Waterford

  • Posted on July 30, 2019 at 11:00 am

Dear Christine, I have been with my partner for several years but for the last few years, we’ve been more like roommates. We don’t share a bedroom, we do a few things together, but mostly we do our own things. A few months ago we talked and confirmed officially that indeed we are just roommates and not “partners”. I was not looking, did not even want to date, but I was at an event and there she was; this new person I had never met or heard of, and we instantly connected. We’ve only had two dates, and I’ve made it clear I want friendship first, plus she is aware I have an ex living with me. So far I like her and want to get to know her better. The concern I have is that I’ve told my roommate that I have met someone and I might want to date and now the roommate seems very depressed and even told me she’s thought of suicide; Not entirely because of our breakup, I think she’s been depressed for a while. I asked her to seek immediate help and she agreed but I’m not sure she will. What should I do?…

Dear Christine, Seeking Peace in Southgate

  • Posted on July 23, 2019 at 10:23 am

Dear Christine, My partner and I love each other very much. We have been together for 35 years. However, our skills of effective conflict resolution are very weak. Would you be able to help us get better at resolving conflicts.  Just recently I was feeling I’d have to leave her to get the peace I want to live with for my last  20 years.  I never told her I’m leaving before. I told her we should go to therapy to save our relationship.  What would you charge to help us to learn healthier ways to resolve conflicts? Signed, Seeking Peace in Southgate Dear Seeking, Thirty five years is a long time to live with and love each other with “weak conflict resolution skills”.  What have you done to resolve conflicts, misunderstandings and tension all these years?  I wonder if one of you has subsumed your identity/wants/needs under the other?  Or you both are tough characters who will keep a commitment, even if it kills you! If you read this blog, you know I encourage psychotherapy to develop healthy coping and conflict resolution skills, along with self-care.  If your partner refuses to join you in couple’s therapy where you both could…

Dear Christine, Calm in Clawson

  • Posted on July 6, 2019 at 3:10 pm

Dear Christine, I’ve had anxieties and phobias all my life, I don’t like to drive a car, but I still do, like an old lady,  I absolutely hate being a passenger, feeling sure the driver will have an accident. I get horrible anxiety waiting in line to buy groceries. I haven’t been able to fly without serious sedation and don’t like being at parties where there are people I don’t know. Oh, and I carry hand sanitizer everywhere I go. I’m 56 years old and I’ve just learned to live with it since I was about 16.  In the past couple months I’ve slowly realized that I no longer have these fears. I’m not sure when it happened exactly but I’m fine now. I’ve never taken meds either. Have you ever heard of someone who was spontaneously cured from anxiety and phobias? I’m praying it’s permanent. Signed Calm in Clawson Dear Calm, I’m so happy for you to have your anxieties and phobias disappear!  As an adult, that is not a common occurrence, but with children, they often overcome anxieties and phobias as they grow, learn and understand more of how the world works. Harvard Health newsletter has some helpful…

Dear Christine, Puzzled in Pontiac

  • Posted on June 5, 2019 at 11:26 am

Dear Christine, I’ve got a problem with my wife. I’m straight, and am married to my wife and we have 3 beautiful children together. I love my wife very much and promised her that I would always love her and take care of her. I take my promises very seriously, especially because she has Borderline Personality Disorder. I have read everything I could find on line, and it is exactly her! I know no one else will take care of her and love her like me, but she says she’s fallen in love with someone else. Get this, it’s a woman! She says she’s not in love with me anymore, and since she’s met this woman, she won’t have sex with me any more. And she acts mean to me, comparing me to this woman, and she gets angry at me all the time, yelling. It’s just not fair! I keep telling her that no one, not even this woman, will ever love her or take care of her as I do. She says she’s going to move in with this woman, but she’s staying with me until tax time. I don’t really like that, but I don’t want to…

Dear Christine, Burned in Berkley

  • Posted on May 27, 2019 at 7:01 am

Dear Christine, Dumped again! I have dated 4 women in the past 2 years and the pattern seems a little too similar to me. Each one of the 4 pursued me. I feel like I tried to go slow and get to know them but they all convinced me that they thought I was the one. I guess I wasn’t because now, for the 4th time, I’ve been hurt. I can only assume that they find me attractive at first and then find something terribly wrong with me. I’ve gone to friends for advise asking them to be honest and tell me what’s wrong with me. They won’t or can’t seem to give me an answer. They don’t think it’s me. The women I’ve dated have all had excuses that didn’t seem to be about me. One said she didn’t like how “out” I was. I guess that is about me. One decided to go back to an ex girlfriend. Another met someone new while we were dating. This last one just quietly faded away slowly without any answer. I need answers to what I’m doing wrong and why someone can date me for 3 to 6 months and then…

Dear Christine, Sad in Saline

  • Posted on May 20, 2019 at 10:48 am

Dear Christine, My sister is pretending to like guys, when she’s a lesbian? I feel really bad. She’s 16 and she’s really popular. Everyone likes her in our school. I never knew she was a lesbian because she’s had so many boyfriends but when I came home early from work once I saw her and her girlfriend on our couch touching each other. She told me she was homosexual but it’s no big deal. Our parents force us to go to church and my dad is a jerk, he always makes fun of this girl who dresses like a guy and I realized it was the same girl she was kissing… I told my dad to stop and she said “why he’s right, dykes go to hell that’s so nasty” and she whispered to me and told me to shut up. I feel bad because I see her sneaking out of our balcony all the time to see her. My dad always makes rude comments but she just laughs at them. I tried talking to her and telling her it’s not good to be in denial and she said “Do you want dad to find out i’m a lesbian and…

Dear Christine, Troubled in Troy

  • Posted on April 29, 2019 at 7:45 am

Dear Christine, what should i do about homophobic co worker? im 21 year old woman and im out to everyone at work, all my co workers have all met my partner Sara, anyway i have people working under me several people in fact and theres this co worker whom im in a higher position but im not in charge of her, she makes fun of my sexuality, at an office party she made horrible remarks to my girlfriend, recently she insulted me and i had enough so i started to shout but i got a pain and chest and couldnt breathe, anyway it was a panic attack because i suffer from anxiety, it made me realise that i must do something, what can i do? Troubled in Troy Dear Troubled, Wow! Since you have anxiety, I’d really recommend that you contact a therapist to work on some cognitive-behavioral techniques to cope with the anxiety, and/or your doctor about getting an anti-anxiety medication for just these situations. I’m sorry you’re going through this at your workplace, but unfortunately, it’s still a common occurrence. Talk to your colleagues about their take on this one mean person, as there’s safety in numbers. Also…

Dear Christine, Tears to Anger, in Ann Arbor

  • Posted on April 22, 2019 at 8:12 am

Dear Christine, I’ve been in a 22+ relationship with my partner and mostly it was a wonderful relationship. The last few years have been tougher for us because of health issues, hysterectomies and deaths in the family. The passion had dissipated quite a bit, but we still always said “I Love You” & “kissed” upon coming or going somewhere, among other normal intimacies that do not involve sex. But, I always felt absolutely certain in my heart that we would grow old together, no matter what -just like our vows to each other when we had our ceremony. Out of the blue, she starts being very angry and picking fights with me. She starts making irrational accusations, and it seemed she was trying very hard to get me angry with her. She succeeded a few times, but only after relentlessly picking at me. Then she hands me a letter telling me that she is no longer “IN–love” with me & ready to part ways, even though she still cares about me and loves me as a friend. I have to admit, I was feeling like I was no longer “IN–love” with her either, but I still loved her and was…

Dear Christine, Hurt in Huntington Woods

  • Posted on March 26, 2019 at 12:20 pm

Dear Christine, My X-partner and i have been living together for about 1 year. I moved into her home 3 months after we met.  She is the love of my life and i know that she loves me and she has stated that i am the love of her life as well. Four months ago things started to deteriorate between us. I suspected there was something going on between her and a guy friend from school and i confronted her about it. She flatly and madly denied any allegations. Our relationship was changing however…  it was very confusing because throughout all this doubt the love and chemistry was still very much there. She said she was having a hard time with school and so i gave her space and pep-talks when she needed them. Three weeks ago she said she wanted to end it. I was in complete shock. I week later she was kissing the guy from school. Two weeks later i came by to pick-up some of my things (a few days after valentines day) and i found used condoms in our apartment… i also found a love note from him face open on the floor. Hurt in…