Dear Christine, Sending Signals in Shelby

  • Posted on October 23, 2017 at 10:00 am

Dear Christine, I’m very femme. I couldn’t stop looking girly if I tried and I wouldn’t anyways.. I love my aesthetic of Curled Hair, Pin-Up looks. I have all kinds of “macho” skills but I appear to be a “Straight” gal to other Lesbians. I’ll admit I’m newly Out…. It’s always been nearly impossible to meet women. Even at an all Lesbian event women will ask if I “just broke up with my boyfriend”. Is there some kind of button I should wear? Is Femme really that offensive? I’ve heard that some Lesbians are into it. I would never change this about myself but I’d sure love to learn to Send out the Right Signals. Any suggestions..?? Sending signals in Shelby

 Dear Sending Signals in Shelby, There’s really no right or wrong way to be, as long as you are yourself! Femme is attractive, to all kinds of lesbians, trust me! I used to serve on the PFLAG Detroit Board, and that was the only place I was “out”. I was disappointed that various parents who came to the table at various public events always assumed that I had a gay son or daughter! All because I wear a skirt sometimes! Go figure. Go out there and make some eye contact! Flirt! Have fun. My first Valentine’s dance, I didn’t know how to recognize a single lesbian, and I made some mistakes at first, but I don’t know as I’ve ever been able to tell who is in a relationship with straight people either, unless they are married and wearing rings. And lesbians wear rings sometimes too! There are some dances where there will be glow bracelets in various colors to wear to show if you are alone and single, alone and have a partner not there, and partnered with her being there. Those bracelets can help you decide who is easiest to approach.

Keep getting yourself out there. The more often you are seen in the community, the more people will recognize you and feel comfortable approaching you as well. So, get out there and make some moves! Enjoy!

Christine C. Cantrell, PhD
1026 W. 11 Mile Rd,
Suite C
Royal Oak, MI 48067
Click here to email Christine.

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