Dear Christine, Pandemic

  • Posted on March 15, 2020 at 2:47 pm

Pandemic Rev Lynn Ungar What if you thought of it As the Jews consider the Sabbath– The most sacred of times? Cease from travel. Cease from buying and selling. Give up, just for now, On trying to make the world Different than it is. Sing. Pray. Touch only those To whom you commit your life. Center down. And when your body has become still, Reach out with your heart. Know that we are connected in ways that are terrifying and beautiful. (You could hardly deny it now.) Know that our lives Are in one another’s hands. (Surely, that has come clear.) Do not reach out your hands. Reach out your heart. Reach out your words. Reach out all the tendrils Of compassion that move, invisibly, Where we cannot touch.. Promise this world your love– For better or worse, In sickness and in health, So long as we all shall live. The conversation project 1 HANDS Wash them oftenFive Things to Do: 2 ELBOW Cough into it 3 FACE Don’t touch it 4 FEET Stay more than 3ft apart 5 FEEL sick? Stay home Hello GOAL world! Welcome to the COVID-19 era.  We all know the drill.  Wash those hands!  The…

Dear Christine, Terrified in Trenton

  • Posted on March 9, 2020 at 8:28 am

Dear Christine, I am a newly out 40 year old lesbian. I just got divorced and am the mother of two teenagers.  I decided to get out there and it wasn’t hard to find lesbian activities though a little online googling.  So, after finding an “all welcome” pot luck house party, I decided to check it out.  I’m not really blaming the people at the party but no one came and introduced themselves to me or took me under their wing, which is what I was hoping for.  I’m painfully shy and uncomfortable in situations where I don’t know anyone. Other, more outgoing individuals might have introduced themselves or tried to start a conversation.  I snuck out after about a half hour without anyone even noticing. I do want to make friends in the community and right now I have none.  Is there any suggestions you have to for me meet people that won’t terrify me? Signed, Terrified in Trenton Dear Terrified in Trenton, Welcome to the community!  It sounds like you might have social anxiety.  It is not easy trying to meet new people in a community, whether that is a church or a pot luck group or a…

Dear Christine, Frustrated in Ferndale

  • Posted on February 10, 2020 at 9:46 am

Dear Christine, I’ve been confused lately and was wondering if you could maybe help me understand the situation. I have been seeing someone for almost 2 years now. She has not come out of the closet to her parents yet and it’s starting to take a toll. She says she needs time to tell her parents which I completely understand. I just don’t understand why she doesn’t try to introduce me as a friend or a study buddy. I may not be the girliest girl out there but I am even willing to wear a dress and stilettos if it will make her more comfortable. Yet she is not open to this idea at all. Why won’t she sacrifice too? This frustrates us both because it creates pointless arguments. It also gets me insecure because am I not good enough? I just don’t want to be a secret anymore. Am I being too harsh or do I have the right to say these things to her? Please help……Thank you!!! Frustrated in Ferndale Dear Frustrated, I hear you, loud and clear! It’s hard to be out and proud and in love with someone who is either straight, or not yet out! However, you’re not even comparing apples and oranges, but instead apples and cars.…

Dear Christine, A Hot Mess in Madison Heights

  • Posted on December 9, 2019 at 12:01 pm

Dear Christine, I’ve never done this before, I’m sorry if it’s a mess. I feel like I’m a burden to everyone. I try my hardest to do good and stay happy to not put the burden of me on anyone. But I mess things up and make mistakes constantly and all my hard work trying to stay positive about things just falls back down. I just had my baby almost 8 weeks ago and i love him he makes my world spin around. But I’m still not okay. I look at myself and I don’t like what I see. I hate my body. I am constantly in my phone because I try to distract myself while I’m around family and people. I have anxiety with most of everything. I overthink everything.  I have a great boyfriend who’s the father of my baby. But I don’t think he realizes or notices because I try and keep it to myself. We argue about the little things but we always end up fine at the end of the day. There are times I am generally happy and I love it and I forget about everything but it always comes creeping back. I’m just…

Dear Christine, Youch! in Ypsilanti

  • Posted on November 25, 2019 at 11:37 am

Dear Christine, My wife recently left me for a woman. It’s been traumatic to say the least. I knew something was up. Sex was low, she wasn’t climaxing and I could just feel her pulling away. I was an a_s for about a year, very negative about alot of things, not us, but father dying, money probs, newborn baby, bought a new house and she had 4 kids before we had ours. She said she always had “feelings” like she liked girls, but said she just ingored them hoping they would go away. Was married, got divorced and married me. Married 2yrs, together 6 for us. She said my meanness made her start looking for friendship and met someone at work and they just “clicked” Now she says she’s 100% gay and has no doubts and she’s the sub and only receives, apparently. She left and took the kids and got a house with said girl and I found and email from her “dom” girl saying she doesn’t want me buying OUR 2yr old ANYTHING for their new house and you’ve been riding around with that table in ur truck for 2 weeks instead of taking it back like I…

Dear Christine, Pity Party in Plymouth

  • Posted on November 11, 2019 at 11:13 am

Dear Christine,  I am getting older and I feel completely out of the scene I am overweight and feel unattractive. I have been single for six years now and miss having a relationship. I also live in the burbs and feel so disconnected. So I am feeling kinda disenfranchised, pathetic and lonely.  Okay enough of the pity party.  But seriously, how do you get back in the game with out looking too much like a goof (although I kinda like that look) I don’t want to be 80 and alone! not that I am that old yet but it could happen. Thanks, Pity Party in Plymouth Dear Pity Party, It sounds like you are having a tough time liking yourself these days. The only way I know to get back in the game is by liking, even loving yourself.  How will anyone else want to be with you now, much less when you’re 80 if you don’t?  Start by taking care of yourself:  eat nutritious food, exercise, get enough sleep, develop some interests that get you out and interacting with others; take up a  sport, do some volunteer work or join a support group or activity group.  Get out and…

Fall Musings 1.3 By Christine C. Cantrell

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 3:15 pm

Fall Musings 1.1 By Christine C. Cantrell, PhD

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 2:39 pm

  I spent the afternoon repotting geraniums in smaller pots to bring them in for the winter.  In Berkley, MI, a Detroit inner ring suburb, our first frost might come tonight.  As an avid gardener, I like to think I know how long the growing season is, and thinking of Global Warming, I thought this was a late date for a first frost.  However, October 12 appears to be an average date, using data from 1981 to the present.  That time period covers the 30 years I have lived in Michigan, so I guess I never really paid attention to when my nasturtiums, morning glories, petunias, begonias and sweet potato vines expired.  This week I took down some ratty looking morning glory vines, uncovering a praying mantis and 3 egg cases.  What is different this year is that we are still harvesting tomatoes, having had humid temps in the 80s this past week!  We have 3 large baskets filled with green to red cherry and grape tomatoes. Last year I brought in post of sweet potato vines with begonias and red, white and pink geraniums and 2 pots of citronella geraniums.  It smells great in the living room and bed…

Fall Musings 1.2 By Christine Cantrell

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 2:28 pm

Dear Christine, Femme in Franklin

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 1:40 pm

Dear Christine, Do I Have Lesbian Repellant? I’m very femme. I couldn’t stop looking girly if I tried and I wouldn’t anyways.. I love my aesthetic of Curled Hair, Pin-Up looks. I have all kinds of “macho” skills but I appear to be a “Straight” gal to other Lesbians. I’ll admit I’m newly Out…. It’s always been nearly impossible to meet women. Even at an all Lesbian event women will ask if I “just broke up with my boyfriend”. Is there some kind of button I should wear? Is Femme really that offensive? I’ve heard that some Lesbians are into it. I would never change this about myself but I’d sure love to learn to Send out the Right Signals. Any suggestions..?? Dear Femme in Franklin Trust me… Femme is not offensive, nor is it a repellent. Speaking as a Butchly type that appreciates the Femme type. I have also seen and known Femmes that like other Femmes when it comes to *those* kinds of interactions. (the really good kind) Personally I also think that as women we are sometimes socialized to be more submissive and/or aren’t used to making the first move… and so oftentimes it can be a…