Dear Christine, A Hot Mess in Madison Heights

  • Posted on December 9, 2019 at 12:01 pm

Dear Christine, I’ve never done this before, I’m sorry if it’s a mess. I feel like I’m a burden to everyone. I try my hardest to do good and stay happy to not put the burden of me on anyone. But I mess things up and make mistakes constantly and all my hard work trying to stay positive about things just falls back down. I just had my baby almost 8 weeks ago and i love him he makes my world spin around. But I’m still not okay. I look at myself and I don’t like what I see. I hate my body. I am constantly in my phone because I try to distract myself while I’m around family and people. I have anxiety with most of everything. I overthink everything.  I have a great boyfriend who’s the father of my baby. But I don’t think he realizes or notices because I try and keep it to myself. We argue about the little things but we always end up fine at the end of the day. There are times I am generally happy and I love it and I forget about everything but it always comes creeping back. I’m just…

Dear Christine, Youch! in Ypsilanti

  • Posted on November 25, 2019 at 11:37 am

Dear Christine, My wife recently left me for a woman. It’s been traumatic to say the least. I knew something was up. Sex was low, she wasn’t climaxing and I could just feel her pulling away. I was an a_s for about a year, very negative about alot of things, not us, but father dying, money probs, newborn baby, bought a new house and she had 4 kids before we had ours. She said she always had “feelings” like she liked girls, but said she just ingored them hoping they would go away. Was married, got divorced and married me. Married 2yrs, together 6 for us. She said my meanness made her start looking for friendship and met someone at work and they just “clicked” Now she says she’s 100% gay and has no doubts and she’s the sub and only receives, apparently. She left and took the kids and got a house with said girl and I found and email from her “dom” girl saying she doesn’t want me buying OUR 2yr old ANYTHING for their new house and you’ve been riding around with that table in ur truck for 2 weeks instead of taking it back like I…

Dear Christine, Pity Party in Plymouth

  • Posted on November 11, 2019 at 11:13 am

Dear Christine,  I am getting older and I feel completely out of the scene I am overweight and feel unattractive. I have been single for six years now and miss having a relationship. I also live in the burbs and feel so disconnected. So I am feeling kinda disenfranchised, pathetic and lonely.  Okay enough of the pity party.  But seriously, how do you get back in the game with out looking too much like a goof (although I kinda like that look) I don’t want to be 80 and alone! not that I am that old yet but it could happen. Thanks, Pity Party in Plymouth Dear Pity Party, It sounds like you are having a tough time liking yourself these days. The only way I know to get back in the game is by liking, even loving yourself.  How will anyone else want to be with you now, much less when you’re 80 if you don’t?  Start by taking care of yourself:  eat nutritious food, exercise, get enough sleep, develop some interests that get you out and interacting with others; take up a  sport, do some volunteer work or join a support group or activity group.  Get out and…

Fall Musings 1.3 By Christine C. Cantrell

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 3:15 pm

Fall Musings 1.1 By Christine C. Cantrell, PhD

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 2:39 pm

  I spent the afternoon repotting geraniums in smaller pots to bring them in for the winter.  In Berkley, MI, a Detroit inner ring suburb, our first frost might come tonight.  As an avid gardener, I like to think I know how long the growing season is, and thinking of Global Warming, I thought this was a late date for a first frost.  However, October 12 appears to be an average date, using data from 1981 to the present.  That time period covers the 30 years I have lived in Michigan, so I guess I never really paid attention to when my nasturtiums, morning glories, petunias, begonias and sweet potato vines expired.  This week I took down some ratty looking morning glory vines, uncovering a praying mantis and 3 egg cases.  What is different this year is that we are still harvesting tomatoes, having had humid temps in the 80s this past week!  We have 3 large baskets filled with green to red cherry and grape tomatoes. Last year I brought in post of sweet potato vines with begonias and red, white and pink geraniums and 2 pots of citronella geraniums.  It smells great in the living room and bed…

Fall Musings 1.2 By Christine Cantrell

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 2:28 pm

Dear Christine, Femme in Franklin

  • Posted on October 23, 2019 at 1:40 pm

Dear Christine, Do I Have Lesbian Repellant? I’m very femme. I couldn’t stop looking girly if I tried and I wouldn’t anyways.. I love my aesthetic of Curled Hair, Pin-Up looks. I have all kinds of “macho” skills but I appear to be a “Straight” gal to other Lesbians. I’ll admit I’m newly Out…. It’s always been nearly impossible to meet women. Even at an all Lesbian event women will ask if I “just broke up with my boyfriend”. Is there some kind of button I should wear? Is Femme really that offensive? I’ve heard that some Lesbians are into it. I would never change this about myself but I’d sure love to learn to Send out the Right Signals. Any suggestions..?? Dear Femme in Franklin Trust me… Femme is not offensive, nor is it a repellent. Speaking as a Butchly type that appreciates the Femme type. I have also seen and known Femmes that like other Femmes when it comes to *those* kinds of interactions. (the really good kind) Personally I also think that as women we are sometimes socialized to be more submissive and/or aren’t used to making the first move… and so oftentimes it can be a…

Dear Christine, Betrayed in Brownstown

  • Posted on October 6, 2019 at 2:18 pm

Dear Christine, I hope it’s okay to ask a question if I’m not a member of the LGBT community. My son is gay and I follow a lot of things going on in the community, and both his father and myself are very involved and supportive of him. The question, however, is about my marriage. I’ve been married to my husband for 21 years. Early in our marriage I discovered he liked to look at porn. I was hurt and jealous because I couldn’t understand why he needed to look at other women when he had me. We’ve always had a healthy marriage and sex life. I’ve discovered recently that he never stopped looking at porn even though many years ago he promised me he would stop. I am concerned he has an addiction. And I’m furious that he never stopped. He thinks I am over-reacting but I’m beyond distraught and unsure if I want to continue our marriage. Is it normal for men to look at porn? Am I being prude? How do I know if he has a serious addiction? Any advice or thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Betrayed in Brownstown Dear Betrayed,…

Dear Christine, Romantically Confused in Romeo

  • Posted on September 9, 2019 at 1:14 pm

Hi Christine, I am 25 year old female I’ve just lately like a couple months ago realized I’m bisexual even though I have gotten with a women way before then and enjoyed it. I have always found women attractive and when I got older I became very attracted to women sexually. For a while now I’ve been interested in women romantically. I have a wonderful bf but some thing is missing I don’t even like the ideal of sex with guys as much as I use to. I mostly think about is women’s body’s that seems to be what I really like. Also I like the ideal of dating a women . I wanna kiss and cuddle and more with a girl I have imaged my self dating a girl and hanging out the weird thing is though lately with in a week or bit more i had 3 dreams of dating women the last one had very strong like I wanted to be with her long time. Why am I having those kind of dreams? Is bisexual the right label for me? Cause I like guys and straight sex but the desire to date and have sex with them…

Thoughts on Reality By Christine Cantrell, Sunday, August 11, 2019

  • Posted on August 12, 2019 at 10:45 am

“This is how I keep myself from killing people!”  This is a line I hear pop out of my mouth when showing off my abundantly blooming gardens. The first time I heard myself say those words, I was uncomfortable. I am not a violent person. I never have been. I have painful memories and traumas and spent many years in therapy, coming to terms with “soul murder” as incest has been called. I am greatly healed, but when that phrase comes out, I recognize a deep pool of rage from growing up abused and living in this sexist, violent, racist culture. Yesterday I was tense and I couldn’t figure out what triggered it. Oh, right. It was the headline in the New York Times: “Jeffrey Epstein commits suicide.” Rage. Anger. Right on the surface. I transferred my anger into the spade as I stabbed it into the grass to dig a new garden for day-lilies. Of course he commits suicide, in jail, despite attempting suicide, in jail a week ago. Wasn’t that predictable? His victims, at least dozens, if not many more, teenage girls over the last few decades, were trafficked as sex slaves who gave the rich and powerful…